MPC Star Wars Story

MPC Star Wars models will always remind me of a funny story, well if you're my dad, you wouldn't laugh.

You see in third grade, this cool kid named Andrew (that's his real name, cause I doubt he's a reader)  brought in his fully assembled C3-PO model and somehow, i became "salesman of the year" and got Andrew to lend me the model for the evening. 

So of course, i broke the elastic that held the damned thing together instantly when I got home.  I panicked, it's in my nature and my folks offered to help.

My fleeting memory of this is my father in his undershirt mumbling "sonovabitch" toiling with C3-PO until the wee hours. I awoke to a fully assembled kit and a warning not to borrow other kid's toys. I was saved!

I didn't learn my lesson and when Andrew traded me for my "Incredible Hulk" treasury edition for his hardbound editions of "Superman and Batman: From the 30's to the 70's" I just let it go until the eight grade. I realized Andrew was just not that interested in his material possessions. 

Pssst Andrew, I still have your books...

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Limited Edition Star Trek Medallion

 I had my Star Trek Medallion stolen during fifth grade swim class (back up ladies, I'm taken) and I know who did it.

He ended up working at my gym in the mid 1990s, the sight of him every day would fill me with this weird anger combined with the feeling that it was super dumb to wear a Star Trek medallion to swim class in the first place.....

Colouring Book Theatre: Dune Activity Book

DUNE: Puzzles, Games, Mazes and Activities

This is my third pass (you can read parts one and two here) at Dune coloring books or as I like to call them, "Comedy Gold" . 

The book promises you can "relive all excitement and adventure from the movie" but as we all know, crosswords and poorly thought out games rarely do that, even with good subject matter.

This is in no way a poke at the quality of the film but more of a comment on the weird belief it was somehow marketable to children.

Dune is a dark, often gory ride with a narrative that would confuse a lot of kids. Yet, licensing people sold it as the next Star Wars and here we are.

The other reason I keep returning to Arakis (see what I did there?) is the hope I find a colouring book page of Sting in his metal underwear, I WILL FIND YOU!

Grab your crayons and still suit and join me after the jump

Colouring Book Theatre: Happy Days

Happy Days Colouring and Activity Book

Another colouring book I found rummaging through  Planet of the Stuff a couple of weeks ago.

Like a lot of 70s kids, I non-ironically stood in a mirror going "Ayyyyy!" and begged my parents for a leather jacket. I loved Happy Days, had a Mego Fonize doll and even bought the (lame) Gold Key comic, so it seemed fitting that this would be a fun colouring book to review here.

However all that positive energy leaked out when I realized this book was from 1983, a time when Fonzie was a 35 year old shadow of himself and most of the interesting cast members were long since gone, paving way for a big pile of who gives a crap.

Let's take a look at this after the jump...

Fitness:1972

I'm not much of a jogger (it ain't a pretty sight) but should I ever get the urge, a mustard yellow track suit will be my choice of uniform. Not only does it give me an Omega Man vibe but it also will hide the vomit stains that are sadly, pretty much a given...

Hulk-a-mi-phone

From the "i've seen it all now" department. 

While Carnival toys gets a l'il gold star for giving Spidey a bugle (think about it), the idea of the Incredible Hulk standing in the desert giving his rendition of "songbird" makes his utility belt and motorcycle seem legit in comparison.

Welcome to the compound

"I'm Adelle and this is Steven, we'll show you to your bunks. At 9am, we'll begin our worship hour followed by nine hours in the fields. Remember, Almighty Kevin is love."

Quilt, I'd like you to meet Jeans

You're in luck chubby girls, they make it in your size!

The 70s, attacking a young girl's self esteem with a big ol' sack of doorknobs.....

Spider-Man busts a cap

Whalloping websnappers, ol' Doc Ock is in for rough time tonight. It's amazing to think that artwork of Spider-Man brandishing a fire arm was approved by somebody at Marvel. I wonder what wouldn't pass?

Spidey leaving a liquor store with a rosie in a skirt? No problem!

The Spider-Man smoking kit? Why not?

Christmas is.....Soft Knits

And don't you *&%^ing forget it!

Nothing in this life, did I loathe more than that prerequisite itchy V neck sweater from an Aunt and Uncle. I have never been more honest in saying "You shouldn't have"...

Santa Putty

Ever wonder what makes Santa tick? Wonder no more, rip ol' Saint Nick apart and spend hours playing with his magical (possibly delicious but definitely non toxic, so dig in!) guts.

We have famous faces.....and butts

 

 

Ahhhh "Love is" the transister radio choice of overly happy housewives and creepy uncles since 1972!

Nerd Therapy Session: X-Ray Blechs

X-Ray Blechs

This one takes place during my family's one memorable trip to Florida in 1977 (referenced already in this tale) and my first experience with feeling totally ripped off.

It's an "I'm still kicking myself" experience and it's  after the jump.

Mantique : A new name for terror

How does one market some of the oddest, unflattering ensembles ever put to thread? By giving them the worst, slightly homoerotic name ever. Feast your eyes ladies and gents on someone looking to get fired.

Seriously, this would be a good time to close up shop here at PS, I've discovered attrocities for six years but truly I will never surpass the Mantique.


The bar has been set.

The headache that keeps on giving

Behold the Hurdy Gurdy machine for children. Speaking as a father, I can honestly say that other than a megaphone I can't imagine a less neccesary toy for a child to have.

Seriously, I would choose the "beercan helmet", complete with two Pabsts over this thing.

Nerd Therapy Session: Starch of Maize

This one goes back  to 1977, a spendy new toy, the burning curiousity to know what's inside and the misery that's always certain to follow.


More after the jump.....

The Black Hole Breakfast

This should almost be a Nerd Therapy Session but I'm so nostalgic for this time, that I can't throw it under that bus.

You see, when the Disney Sci Fi epic "The Black Hole" came out, I was that kid who thought it better than Star Wars, it just struck a nerve with me.

Most likely it was due to the week where I got the flu and in order to pass the time my Mom bought me every Black Hole comic and activity book she could find.

It was also around that time that an incredible offer was made for Canadian kids, however it did have it's price....(more after the jump)

Canada's Superhero

Finally some evidence of this shirt featuring Canada's Superhero, Captain Canuck. I've honestly been searching for an image I could use for the blog as it's almost a Nerd Therapy Session in itself.

True story, a kid in  my fourth grade class had this shirt, he was one of the cooler boys so I brought in an issue of Captain Canuck (which I bought solely to impress him) in order to bond with him assuming he was a fan.

If I recall his exact words were, "Why are you showing your comics to me?".

 Clearly the shirt had not been a purchase he had any say in and he wasn't even aware of the character, I felt pretty stupid. So, Captain Canuck reminds me mostly of being socially awkward. A couple of years later we bonded over my having Activision Hockey for the Atari 2600, video games were a great equalizer....

Nerd Therapy Session: Towel Redemption

tio

This one takes place in 1977 and involves vacationing, towels, a slightly embarrassing confession and I guess an overall  reluctance to grow up. Go figure on the last one....


More after the jump:

Nerd Therapy Session: Crushed

This week's guest submission (keep 'em coming folks!) comes to us from Kirk AKA "Donkey Hoatie" on the Mego Museum message boards.


It's a tale I think we all can relate to and that is your first crush on somebody and how it rarely goes well.