Thursday, August 16, 2012


My own natural aversion to clowns wrestles with my innate nostalgia in a bitter battle to the death each time I see vintage McDonald's merchandise like this Hasbro Ronald McDonald doll.

It reminds me of a happier time when I honestly wanted to visit the place and enjoyed their food with no worry of consequence. I miss my high functioning child metabolism, please come back.


John Scott Tynes said...

"Hug him, his whistle blows."

Someone call To Catch A Predator.

"Pull his string, Grimace shows."

Is that what he calls it? Jesus.

Eric Scales said...

I had this. For some reason I had the terrible idea to give him a haircut. I think my mother's resistance to the idea made me a bit cautious and I decided to only snip a few of the loops, making them seperate pieces rather than loops. Once I got that out of my system I decided he didn't need a haircut after all.

Anonymous said...

I never fully appreciated what C.S. Lewis meant when he made his character Aslan say the childern were too old for Narnia. After all, I thought, I've loved these adventures all my life, why shouldn't the Pevensie children? Having read John Scott Tynes' snide double entendre, now I see the point Lewis was trying to make. There comes a point when the magical wonder of childhood fades before the adult world and all its lewdness. Or it's also possible our society simply wasn't as overtly depraved back in the 70s. The predators Mr Tynes refers to weren't considered poor unfortunates in need of a group therapy session and warm pat on the shoulder before being set loose to resume their atrocities. Instead, when they were caught they hanged themselves in their cell out of grief and shame, with or without forcible assistance. Even the term "predator" is a misnomer. It connotes a natural act. The bear is a predator, so is the house cat. Back then we called them what they truly were: child molestors.

Anyway, that notwithstanding, I want to thank our host for giving me the same uncanny shiver I had as a child in the toy store when I stared at those dead, all-black eyes. It would be many years later before I learned what an "8-ball hemorrhage" was but somehow, even then, some part of my childhood psyche realize there was something very, very wrong about this particular incarnation of Ronald. He still scares the jeebers out of me.

Billy said...

Thanks for this post! I'm actually the little boy in the picture that did this ad. I remember it like it was yesterday. Blast from the past :-)

#ChurchCrimes said...

I had that!

Unknown said...

I currently have 2 in there original box's....the box's are a little aged but the dolls are in great condition.......took me back when i saw them and had to have them both


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